· You feel down and you don’t know why. So you just pretend like everything is OK.
· Your heart is broken, but you need to show up for work, your children, your clients/customers/patients, your friend who needs you, so you hold it in and just get through the day. And the next day, and the next day…
· You’ve experienced some significant event or trauma, but it happened in the past, and you think you should just get over it.
· Your boundaries have been crossed and you feel taken advantage of. But you don’t feel it’s safe to speak up and you’re afraid you’ll be seen as an “angry bitch.”
· You feel so on edge one day that you explode and rage on your partner because they didn’t pick up their socks.
· You can’t stop crying and you don’t know why.
These are just some of the countless ways women disconnect from their feelings – and for good reason!
You are trying to keep your feelings from overwhelming you.
But the truth is, holding them all in is what will overwhelm you even more down the road.
With many of my clients, we often discuss the benefits of exploring and expressing emotion. It makes sense in their minds.
Intellectually you say, “Of course I have feelings, I’m human right?” But when it comes down to it, feeling your feelings can be harder than you think.
Most women have been conditioned to be caretakers, to tend to the needs of others and put their own emotional needs on the back burner.
When you were a little girl, you may have been told you were “too much,” “too emotional,” “too dramatic,” or even that you were trying to use your emotions to “manipulate others.” You adapted in whatever way you could so that the people around you did not abandon you because you had feelings.
This is true for so many women.
Now as an adult, you have the opportunity to make choices, to develop skills, and to manage your emotions without needing to control them (hold them in or be overwhelmed by them).
So what’s the difference between controlling how you feel and managing your emotions? Trying to control how you feel is nearly impossible, because feeling is a natural process, like breathing and blinking.
Managing your emotions is being able to notice what feelings are coming up and not letting them overwhelm you or completely throw you off course.
Feelings are also an ever changing process, meaning that what you feel will not, and does not have to, last forever.
The benefit of feelings your feelings? You actually feel better afterwards.
Your problem won’t be solved instantly, but that’s not the point.
You will feel relieved, calmer, more connected to yourself and your personal power, thus, you will be in a much better position to tackle whatever internal or external battle you’re facing.
Feelings are universal. And the stress of life is what actually helps you grow and change.
Trees need a certain amount of wind for the heartwood of the tree to develop and be strong enough to grow and survive. Humans also need a certain amount of stress to grow and develop strength and inner resources.
Stress + Presence = Evolving
Pausing and feeling your feelings allows you space to evolve and awaken.
I invite you to come in for an initial therapy session with me to experience the benefit of feeling your feelings. You are blessed with the opportunity to live with yourself the rest of your life. You may as well learn to be with all that is here.
I am honored to support you.